A limiting belief is something you’re certain of that holds you back. You don’t feel it as a belief. You feel it as the way things are.
In how I work, that certainty is the point. It sits in what I call your certain database, the structure that tells you you’re certain of something. Change what you’re certain of, and what you do can change.
This page is coaching, not therapy. If you’re not sure that’s what you need, read when this isn’t a coaching issue first.
What are limiting beliefs?
A belief is something you’re certain of. A limiting belief is one that holds you back from what you want.
You usually can’t see it from the inside. It doesn’t show up as a thought you’re having. It shows up as what you assume is possible for you, and what isn’t.
How do limiting beliefs hold you back?
They set the edge of what you try. If you’re certain something isn’t for you, you don’t reach for it, or you reach and then undo it.
That’s where this meets self sabotage. A part of you holds the certainty, and it acts on it. You can read more on self sabotage.
How do you notice a limiting belief?
You notice it by how it sounds. A limiting belief sounds like a fact, not an opinion. “I’m not the kind of person who does that.” “That’s just how I am.” “People like me don’t get that.”
If you’re certain of it, it won’t feel like a belief. It will feel like a description of reality. That’s why the sentence doesn’t come with a question mark.
An invented example
This is an invented example, to show how I look at a belief. It isn’t a real client.
Priya wants to finish a course she started. She has stopped three times. She says, “I’m not someone who finishes things.” She doesn’t say it as a worry. She says it as a fact.
In how I work, that’s what a limiting belief looks like: something she’s certain of. The certainty is the part to work with, not the course. Behind the goal is a value, and to reach it she’d need a quality, someone who finishes what she starts. The question is whether her certain database tells her she is that person.
This is an illustration of how I look at a belief, not a promise of what will happen for you.
How can I overcome my limiting beliefs?
I can’t promise how it goes for any one person. I can tell you what the work involves: it starts with what you want, finds the value behind it, and works on the structure that makes you certain you are the person who gets there. The full walk-through is on the how to stop self sabotaging page.
How is a limiting belief different from self sabotage?
They’re closely related, and I work with them the same way.
Self sabotage is what you see: you want something and part of you works against it. A limiting belief is one thing a part can be certain of. Both come down to what you’re certain of about who you are, and both are worked on through your values, your qualities and your certain database.
When is this not a coaching issue?
Coaching isn’t therapy. I don’t claim to treat trauma, and I don’t claim to cure anything.
If there’s trauma, deep-seated emotional issues, or thoughts of suicide, talk to a qualified professional. If you’re thinking about suicide, call or text 988 in the US, or call your local emergency number.
Read next: limiting beliefs examples and how to overcome limiting beliefs.
Frequently asked questions
What are limiting beliefs?
Things you’re certain of that hold you back from what you want. You usually don’t notice them as beliefs, because they feel like the way things are.
How do limiting beliefs hold you back?
They set the edge of what you try. If you’re certain something isn’t for you, you don’t reach for it, or you reach and then undo it.
How can I overcome my limiting beliefs?
I can’t promise how it goes for any one person. The work starts with what you want, finds the value behind it, links it to a quality, and works on the structure that makes you certain you are that person.
Are limiting beliefs the same as self sabotage?
They’re closely related. Self sabotage is what you see. A limiting belief is one thing a part of you can be certain of. I work with both the same way.
Do I need a therapist or a coach?
If there’s trauma, deep-seated emotional issues, or thoughts of suicide, see a qualified professional. Coaching is not therapy.
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