A limiting belief sounds like a fact, not an opinion. Here are examples, grouped by where they tend to show up. After the list, I’ll show you how I read them, because the sentence is only the surface.
If you want the background first, start with limiting beliefs. This is coaching, not therapy. If you’re not sure that’s what you need, read when to get help from a professional instead first.
What are examples of limiting beliefs?
These are common ways a limiting belief comes out in words. You may recognize some. You may recognize none, and still hold one.
About yourself
“I’m not good enough.” “I’m not the kind of person who sticks with things.” “I’m just not creative.” “Other people are better at this than I am.”
About work and success
“People like me don’t get promoted.” “If I put my work out, it will be judged.” “I’m too late to start.” “Success means giving up what matters.”
About money
“There’s never enough.” “People with money aren’t like me.” “I’m not allowed to charge what it’s worth.” “Asking for more is greedy.”
About relationships
“I’ll be left if I’m honest.” “I have to earn people’s attention.” “Nobody really wants to hear what I think.” “Needing help means being a burden.”
About change
“I’ve always been this way.” “I tried before and it didn’t last.” “It’s easier to stay where I am.” “I’d have to become someone else.”
How do you read a list like this?
Don’t look for your sentence on the list and stop there. A sentence is how a belief comes out. It isn’t the belief.
In how I work, a belief is something you’re certain of. Two people can say the same sentence and be certain of different things. One person who says “I’m not good enough” is certain they’ll be found out. Another is certain they’ll be left. The words match. What each person is certain of doesn’t.
That’s why a list can’t tell you which belief you hold. Only you can, and only by looking at what you’re certain of, not just what you say.
What is a limiting belief really made of?
It’s made of certainty. Everyone has what I call a certain database, the structure that tells you you’re certain of something. Yours is different from mine. A limiting belief is something in it that you’re certain of and that holds you back from what you want.
That’s also why a belief doesn’t go away because you’ve read that it’s untrue. You can know a sentence is unfair and still be certain of it. The certainty is what we work with.
An invented example
This is an invented example, to show how I read a belief. It isn’t a real client.
Tom says, “People like me don’t get promoted.” He says it calmly, like a fact about the weather. He wants the promotion. He hasn’t applied for the last two openings.
The sentence is on the list above, under work. But I wouldn’t stop at the sentence. I’d ask what Tom is certain of. In this example, he’s certain that asking to be seen is a mistake. That’s different from the sentence. It’s what sits underneath it.
Behind his goal is a value, and to reach it he’d need a quality, someone who puts himself forward. The question is whether his certain database tells him he’s that person. This is an illustration of how I look at a belief, not a promise of what will happen for you.
What do you do once you spot one?
Start by writing down the sentence, then ask what you’re certain of underneath it. For how the work goes from there, read how to overcome limiting beliefs.
When should you get help from a professional instead?
If you think a belief comes from something painful that happened to you, that’s a question for a qualified professional. Coaching isn’t therapy. I don’t claim to treat trauma, and I don’t claim to cure anything.
If there’s trauma, deep-seated emotional issues, or thoughts of suicide, talk to a qualified professional. If you’re thinking about suicide, call or text 988 in the US, or call your local emergency number.
Frequently asked questions
What are examples of limiting beliefs?
“I’m not good enough.” “People like me don’t get promoted.” “There’s never enough.” “I’ll be left if I’m honest.” “I’ve always been this way.” They sound like facts, not opinions.
How do you know if you have a limiting belief?
You can’t tell from the sentence alone. In how I work, a belief is something you’re certain of, so the question is what you’re certain of underneath what you say.
Are limiting beliefs true?
They feel true, because you’re certain of them. Being certain isn’t the same as being right, and I don’t claim to know which of yours are accurate. I work with the certainty.
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
I don’t claim to know where any one person’s beliefs started. If you think yours come from something painful, talk to a qualified professional.
How do I change a limiting belief?
I can’t promise how it goes for any one person. The how to overcome limiting beliefs page explains what the work involves.
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